life in a shoebox

poppy poems

2009-09-22T23:01:00.001+08:00

you being in love
will tell who softly asks in love,

am i separated from your body smile brain hands merely
to become the jumping puppets of a dream? oh i mean:
entirely having in my careful how
careful arms created this at length
inexcusable, this inexplicable pleasure – you go from several
persons: believe me that strangers arrive
when i have kissed you into a memory
slowly, oh seriously
- that since and if you disappear

solemnly
myselves
ask “life, the question how do i drink dream smile

and how do i prefer this face to another and
why do i weep eat sleep – what does the whole intend”
they wonder. oh and they cry “to be, being, that i am alive
this absurd fraction in its lowest terms
with everything cancelled
but shadows
- what does it all come down to? love? Love
if you like and i like,for the reason that i
hate people and lean out of this window is love,love
and the reason that i laugh and breathe is oh love and the reason

that i do not fall into this street is love.

(e. e. cummings – you being in love

He said:
“Let’s stay here
Now this place has emptied
And make gentle pornography with one another,
While the partygoers go out
And the dawn creeps in,
Like a stranger.

Let us not hesitate
Over what we know
Or over how cold this place has become,
But let’s unclip our minds
And let tumble free
The mad, mangled crocodile of love.”

So they did,
There among the cigarettes and guinness stains,
And later he caught a bus and she a train
And all there was between them then
Was rain.

(Brian Patten – Party Piece)

poetry

2009-08-10T23:25:00.003+08:00

I was six when
Mama was careless
she sent me to school
alone
five days a week

One day I was
kidnapped by a band
of Western philosophers
armed with glossy-pictured
textbooks and registered reputations
'Holder of BA
and MA degrees'

I was held in a classroom
guarded by Churchill and Garibaldi
pinned up on one was
and
Hitler and Mao dictating
from the other
Guevara pointed a revolution
at my brains
from his 'Guerilla Warfare'

Each three-month term
they sent threats to
my Mama and Papa

Mama and Papa loved
their son and
paid ransom fees
each time

Each time
Mama and Papa grew
poorer and poorer
and my kidnappers grew
richer and richer
I grew whiter and
whiter

On my release
fifteen years after
I was handed
(among loud applause
from fellow victims)
a piece of paper
to decorate my walls
certifying my release.

(Kidnapped, Ruperake Petaia)

The diameter of the bomb was thirty centimeters
and the diameter of its effective range about seven meters,
with four dead and eleven wounded.
And around these, in a larger circle
of pain and time, two hospitals are scattered
and one graveyard. But the young woman
who was buried in the city she came from,
at a distance of more than a hundred kilometers,
enlarges the circle considerably,
and the solitary man mourning her death
at the distant shores of a country far across the sea
includes the entire world in the circle.
And I won't even mention the howl of orphans
that reaches up to the throne of God and
beyond, making
a circle with no end and no God.
The Diameter of the Bomb, Yehuda Amichai)

What a sight for my eyes
to see you in sleep.
Could it stop the sun rise
hearing you weep?
You're not seen, you're not heard
but I stand by my word.
Came a thousand miles
just to catch you while you're smiling.

What a day for laughter
and walking at night.
Me following after, your hand holding tight.
And the memory stays clear with the song that you hear.
If I can but make
the words awake the feeling.

What a reason for waiting
and dreaming of dreams.
So here's hoping you've faith in impossible schemes,
that are born in the sigh of the wind blowing by
while the dimming light brings the end to a night of loving.

(Reasons For Waiting, Ian Anderson)

mersey sound

2009-08-03T12:59:00.001+08:00

info here.

Without you every morning would feel like going back to work after a holiday,
Without you I couldn't stand the smell of the East Lancs Road,
Without you ghost ferries would cross the Mersey manned by skeleton crews,
Without you I'd probably feel happy and have more money and time and nothing to do with it,
Without you I'd have to leave my stillborn poems on other people's doorsteps, wrapped in brown paper,
Without you there'd never be sauce to put on sausage butties,
Without you plastic flowers in shop windows would just be plastic flowers in shop windows,
Without you I'd spend my summers picking morosely over the remains of train crashes,
Without you white birds would wrench themselves free from my paintings and fly off dripping blood into the night,
Without you green apples wouldn't taste greener,
Without you Mothers wouldn't let their children play out after tea,
Without you every musician in the world would forget how to play the blues,
Without you Public Houses would be public again,
Without you the Sunday Times colour suppliment would come out in black-and-white,
Without you indifferent colonels would shrug their shoulders and press the button,
Without you they's stop changing the flowers in Piccadilly Gardens,
Without you Clark Kent would forget how to become Superman,
Without you Sunshine Breakfast would only consist of Cornflakes,
Without you there'd be no colour in Magic colouring books,
Without you Mahler's 8th would only be performed by street musicians in derelict houses,
Without you they'd forget to put the salt in every packet of crisps,
Without you it would be an offence punishable by a fine of up to £200 or two months' imprisonment to be found in possession of curry powder,
Without you riot police are massing in quiet sidestreets,
Without you all streets would be one-way the other way,
Without you there'd be no one to kiss goodnight when we quarrel,
Without you the first martian to land would turn round and go away again,
Without you they'd forget to change the weather,
Without you blind men would sell unlucky heather,
Without you there would be
no landscapes/no stations/no houses
no chipshops/no quiet villages/no seagulls
on beaches/no hopscotch on pavements/no night/no morning/
there'd be no city no country
Without you.

Adrian Henri

Love is feeling cold in the back of vans
Love is a fanclub with only two fans
Love is walking holding paintstained hands
Love is.

Love is fish and chips on winter nights
Love is blankets full of strange delights
Love is when you don't put out the light
Love is.

Love is the presents in Christmas shops
Love is when you're feeling Top of the Pops
Love is what happens when the music stops
Love is.

Love is white panties lying all forlorn
Love is pink nightdresses still slightly warm
Love is when you have to leave at dawn
Love is.

Love is you and love is me
Love is prison and love is free
Love's what's there when you are away from me
Love is...

Adrian Henri

A little bit of heaven fell
From out the sky one day
It landed in the ocean
Not so very far away

The general at the radar screen
Rubbed his hands in glee
And grinning pressed the button
That started World War Three

From every corner of the earth
Bombs began to fly
There were even missile jams
No traffic lights in the sky
In the time it takes to blow your nose
The people fell, the mushrooms rose.

'House!' cried the fat lady
As the bingohall moved to various parts of the town
'Raus!' cried the German butcher
as his shop came tumbling down

Phillip was in the counting house
Counting out his money
The Queen was in the parlour
Eating bread and honey
When through the window
Flew a bomb
And made them go all funny
In the time it takes to draw a breath
Or eat a toadstool, instant death

The rich
Huddled outside the doors of their fallout shelters
Like drunken carol singers
The poor
Clutching shattered televisions
And at last week's editions of T.V Times
(but the very last)
Civil defence volunteers
With their tin hats in one hand
And their heads in the other
C.N.D supporters
Their ban the bomb badges beginning to rust
Have scrawled 'I told you so' in the dust

A little bit of heaven fell
From out of the sky one day
It landed in Vermont
North-eastern USA
The general at the radar screen
He should have got the sack
But that wouldn't bring
Three thousand million, seven hundred, and sixty-eight people back,
Would it?

Roger McGough

mother the wardrobe is full of infantrymen
i did i asked them
but they snarled saying it was a man's life

mother there's a centurion tank in the parlour
i did i asked the officer
but he laughed saying 'Queen's regulations'
(piano was out of tune anyway)

mother polish your identity bracelet
there is a mushroom cloud in the back garden
i did i tried to bring in the cat
but it simply came to pieces in my hand
i did i tried to whitewash the windows
but there weren't any
i did i tried to hide under the stairs
but i couldn't get in for the civil defence leaders
i did i tried ringing candid camera
but they crossed their hearts

i went for a policemen but they were looting the town
i went out for a fire engine but they were all upside down
i went out for a priest but they were all on their knees
mother don't just lie there, say something please
mother don't just lie there, say something please

Roger McGough

official hiatus.

2009-07-13T11:49:00.004+08:00

i'll be back, but for the moment you can find me here.

(ps. meet fred, my new best friend. i'm in love)

edit:
please feel free to submit a post to my tumblr here
i think it's an awesome way to communicate & i would love to see what you guys have to say.
please please do so! :)

you said that hill looks far too steep.

2009-06-29T14:00:00.001+08:00

(what better photo for this song than the most perfectly matched on/off couple ever?)

so we've put an end to it this time.
i'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine.
you said this hill looks far too steep
if i'm not even sure it's me you wanna keep.
and it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time i've touched you is in my sleep.

but time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
i've tried cutting the ropes and
i let you go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

you won't talk me into it next time,
if i'm going away your heart's coming too.
cos i miss your hands i miss your face
when i get back let's disappear without a trace.

cos it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time i've touched you is in my sleep.
but time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
i've tried cutting the ropes,
tried letting go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

so tell me, did you really think...
oh tell me, did you really think
i had gone when you couldn't see me anymore?
when you couldn't...

cos baby time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
and i've tried cutting the ropes,
i let you go but you're still the only one
that feels like home
yeah you're still the only one that feels like home,
you're still the only one i've gotta love.

back.

2009-06-29T10:26:00.005+08:00

phew, very long unplanned break in posting there kids! in the last couple of weeks, i have finished uni, been working full time & been sick for the good part of a week. how exciting!

the above photo is from the time traveler's wife movie which is due out towards the end of the year, but i'm not going to see it because the book is my absolute favourite & it could only ruin it for me. not to mention eric bana is epically miscast, as per usual.

i do love this photo though.

world enough and time

if you haven't read it i suggest you get your hands on a copy asap, it is amazing. i have read it at least 5 times, probably closer to 10.

the diameter of the bomb.

2009-06-17T15:11:00.001+08:00

The diameter of the bomb was thirty centimeters
and the diameter of its effective range about seven meters,
with four dead and eleven wounded.
And around these, in a larger circle
of pain and time, two hospitals are scattered
and one graveyard. But the young woman
who was buried in the city she came from,
at a distance of more than a hundred kilometers,
enlarges the circle considerably,
and the solitary man mourning her death
at the distant shores of a country far across the sea
includes the entire world in the circle.
And I won't even mention the howl of orphans
that reaches up to the throne of God and
beyond, making
a circle with no end and no God.

Yehuda Amichai

sorry for the filler-ish post kids, but i finish exams tomorrow & will hopefully have some time to cook up some lovelies for you :)
i do love this poem a lot though.

fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

2009-06-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

playlist for today, 14/06/09.

2009-06-14T19:20:00.001+08:00

lucky you, the national
book of love, the magnetic fields
i just don't think i'll ever get over you, colin hay
a song to sing, hanson
designs on you, the old 97s
get lonely, the mountain goats
see you soon, coldplay
go, hanson
orange sky, alexi murdoch

i seriously adore every single one of these songs, please give them a go.
also this is my 101st post! yay!
thanks to all of you who read :)

curiouser & curiouser!

2009-06-12T11:03:00.001+08:00

" 'There is no use trying,' said Alice, 'One can't believe impossible things.'

'I dare say you haven't had much practice,' said the queen.
'When I was your age, I always did it for a half hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.' "

extended version here (won't embed)

"My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that."

"If one drinks much from a bottle marked “Poison”, it’s almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later."

"I -- I hardly know, sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."

"Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

this song is ridiculously good. download here.

"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does."

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

i don't care that i just quoted miley cyrus, because it is perfect.

2009-06-11T11:42:00.003+08:00

"that's the best part about hanging out with a sister. you're not having conversations with beginnings, middles and ends, you're just letting unformed thoughts bounce up and down and around and around."

miley cyrus

cos birds can fly so high.

2009-06-08T08:58:00.001+08:00

hayden panettiere.
i adore this shoot.
soundtrack: birds by kate nash.

e needs this fucking song in her life.

2009-06-07T10:04:00.000+08:00

i can't find any information online about what guitars she actually plays, but from memory i think she plays a 12-string & a steel lap guitar, as well as acoustic guitar & drums.

in 06 she was named a "guitar god" by rolling stone, becoming the first ever female to make this list.
in 07 she was nominated for a golden globe for her musical contributions with eddie veder (of pearl jam fame) to the sean penn movie into the wild.
(which by the way is a fantastic movie- i highly recommend it. stars emile hirsch, catherine keener, kristen stewart, vince vaughn, marcia gay harden, william hurt + others)

she's fantastic though, i was first introduced to her at tegan & sara's 07 tour when she was their support act. she mostly played songs from her daysleeper ep, which i stupidly didn't buy at the gig & have regretted ever since, as you can't get it anywhere. i did, however, manage to track this song down on myspace, & i love it a lot.

e needs this song in her life.

once i'm dead i won't need gold

2009-06-06T15:38:00.002+08:00

Preacher, don't send me
when I die
to some big ghetto
in the sky
where rats eat cats
of the leopard type
and Sunday brunch
is grits and tripe.

I've known those rats
I've seen them kill
and grits I've had
would make a hill,
or maybe a mountain,
so what I need
from you on Sunday
is a different creed.

Preacher, please don't
promise me
streets of gold
and milk for free.
I stopped all milk
at four years old
and once I'm dead
I won't need gold.

I'd call a place
pure paradise
where families are loyal
and strangers are nice,
where the music is jazz
and the season is fall.
Promise me that
or nothing at all.

Maya Angelou

daisy lowe.

2009-06-06T09:44:00.000+08:00

some of the other shots didn't appeal to me quite as much, but you can find them here if you're interested.

wintertime.

2009-06-05T14:01:00.000+08:00

My mouth hovers across your breasts
in the short grey winter afternoon
in this bed we are delicate
and touch so hot with joy we amaze ourselves
tough and delicate we play rings
around each other our daytime candle burns
with its peculiar light and if the snow
begins to fall outside filling the branches
and if the night falls without announcement
there are the pleasures of winter
sudden, wild and delicate your fingers
exact my tongue exact at the same moment
stopping to laugh at a joke
my love hot on your scent on the cusp of winter

DH Lawrence

pretty ladies.

2009-06-05T10:01:00.000+08:00

all of these can be found in my heart.

it's easy to say, but harder to feel.

2009-06-04T14:33:00.000+08:00

digging a hole & the walls are caving in behind me
air's getting thin but i'm trying i'm breathing in
come find me

it hasn't felt like this before
it hasn't felt like home before you

& i know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
this way
& i miss you more than i should
than i thought i could
can't get my mind off of you

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it
that's part of it all
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall

it hasn't felt like this before
it hasn't felt like home before you

& i know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
this way
& i miss you more than i should than i thought i could
can't get my mind off of you

& i hate the phone
but i wish you'd call
thought being alone
was better than was better than

& i know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way
& i miss you more than i should
than i thought i could
can't get my mind off of you
can't get my mind off of you

i know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
this way
& i miss you more than i should
than i thought i could
can't get my mind off of you

& i know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way

the fear you won't fall
joshua radin & ingrid michaelson

+ bonus
sky, also by them

new necklace <3

2009-06-04T11:07:00.003+08:00

it's made out of etched brass & is amazing.
i wear it all the time & it goes with everything.
best $25 i ever spent.

woohoo.

2009-06-03T16:10:00.001+08:00

woohoo by the 5.6.7.8s
it's actually off the kill bill soundtrack,
but i first heard it in this hilarious video filled with pretty ladies.
<3>

random pretties from FOREVER ago.

2009-06-03T13:50:00.000+08:00

uhhh, i just found this saved as a draft from JANUARY.
enjoy! hehe.

interim.

2009-06-02T23:49:00.002+08:00

bedtime.

i love this photo a lot, even though the quality is not so great.
i ♥ my new camera phone :)

i have lots of ideas for posts in the works, just not enough time to execute them
hopefully tomorrow.
<3>

(georgia) on my mind.

2009-05-31T08:00:00.000+08:00

playlist for today, courtesy of my brain.

2009-05-30T21:51:00.000+08:00

fuel - shimmer
rachael yamagata - be be your love
forever the sickest kids - hey brittany
jill sobule - i kissed a girl
mates of state - my only offer

zzzzzzzzzzzzzip!
+ one extra.
wasted by cartel.
<333

band i love: kings of convenience

2009-05-28T10:00:00.003+08:00

kings of convenience are my go-to band when i want mellow, chilled-out music to calm me down.
they're described as an indie folk pop duo from norway, & if you've heard the whitest boy alive that's Øye's side-project.
a lot of the stuff on their album riot on an empty street reminds me of quieter simon & garfunkel, which is not a bad thing.
one of my favourite tracks is homesick.

i'll lose some sales & my boss won't be happy
but i can't stop listening to the sound
of two soft voices
blended in perfection
from the reels of this record that i've found.

every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me
what are you doing here?
finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.

i've traveled far & i've burned all the bridges
i believed as soon as i hit land
all the other options held before me,
would wither in the light of my plan.

so i'll lose some sales & my boss won't be happy
but there's only one thing on my mind
searching boxes underneath the counter
on a chance that on a tape i'd find
a song for someone who needs somewhere to long for.

homesick
because i no longer know where home is.

download here

yellow nails + new favourite outfit + new crazy top.

2009-05-27T09:16:00.000+08:00

you could go into early labour sucking face like that you know!

2009-05-25T11:36:00.001+08:00

one of my favourite quotes from juno (among many).

(i know, it's raindrops on roses... i got distracted halfway through the word!)

i doodled these in biro in-between voters at the election last week & thought they ended up pretty cute.

i heart: disney.

2009-05-24T15:59:00.000+08:00

i picked these up randomly in the supermarket- cute or what!
i really don't like this whole "disney princess" thing they've got going on now we're they're all in fancy dresses etc. blech.

ariel has always been my favourite, followed by belle & then snow white (does she have name?).
i've never liked cinderella (probably because she was blonde, haha) nor sleeping beauty.
(& alice is totally not a disney character, whatever my sister may think!)

smiggle!

2009-05-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

new ipod pouches :)
purple is mine, pink is my sister's
cos she collects all things pig.

i like this a lot.

2009-05-23T07:23:00.000+08:00

here is little Effie's head
whose brains are made of gingerbread
when judgment day comes
God will find six crumbs

stooping by the coffinlid
waiting for something to rise
as the other somethings did-
you imagine his surprise

bellowing through the general noise
Where is Effie who was dead?
-to God in a tiny voice,
i am may the first crumb said

whereupon its fellow five
crumbs chuckled as if they were alive
and number two took up the song
might i'm called and did no wrong

cried the third crumb, i am should
and this is my little sister could
with our big brother who is would
don't punish us for we were good;

and the last crumb with some shame
whispered unto God, my name
is must and with the others i've
been Effie who isn't alive

just imagine it I say
God amid a monstrous din
watch your step and follow me
stooping by Effie's little, in

(want a match or can you see?)
which the six subjective crumbs
twitch like mutilated thumbs;
picture His peering biggest whey

coloured face on which a frown
puzzles, but I know the way-
(nervously Whose eyes approve
the blessed while His ears are crammed

with the strenuous music of
the innumerable capering damned)
-staring wildly up and down
the here we are now judgment day

cross the threshold have no dread
lift the sheet back in this way
here is little Effie's head
whose brains are made of gingerbread

e.e. cummings

afternoon delight.

2009-05-22T15:36:00.002+08:00

(my current phone background)

eliza dushku in this month's maxim.
the rest of this shoot isn't so spectacular (far too airbrushed) but i love these two shots.

a pretty.

2009-05-22T10:00:00.001+08:00

i received this gorgeous cup & saucer & tea-plate set for my birthday last week.
it is from the Royal Albert 100 Years collection, with a different pattern representing every decade.

this particular one is from the early 1900s & is called Regency Blue:

"1901 signalled the end of Victorian times & the start of the Edwardian era. after a reign of almost 60 years, Queen Victoria was succeeded by Edward VII. the Regency period ran around the turn of the century & Regency Blue is reminiscent of typical designs of the day, with rich cobalt blue & deep maroons, highlighted with gold accents."

some favourite jewellery.

2009-05-21T18:14:00.001+08:00

a few snaps from the weekend.

2009-05-19T18:40:00.001+08:00

(this one reminds me of the vampire weekend album cover)

i think that i might break.

2009-05-17T15:01:00.006+08:00

help i have done it again
i have been here many times before
hurt myself again today
& the worst part is there's no one else to blame

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
i am small
& needy
warm me up
& breathe me

ouch i have lost myself again
lost myself & i am nowhere to be found,
yeah i think that i might break
lost myself again & i feel unsafe

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
i am small
& needy
warm me up
& breathe me

sia, breathe me

i love my friends because they care when i'm sad & drive 45 minutes to see me for only half an hour & give me cuddles & listen to me talk shit all the time & dedicate posts to me on my birthday & call/msg me to check i'm okay & love me no matter what.

effing perfection.

2009-05-15T14:26:00.000+08:00

ps

2009-05-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to meeeeeee!
this was too good not to share haha.
i'm such a dork.

a wish.

2009-05-14T12:49:00.005+08:00

i wish to feel smaller under your sheets
i wish for the whole truth every time you speak
& i'm thinking bout how you care half as much for me
as i watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep

& i guess it doesn't matter what i say or what i seem
you stuck what i felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
ygnoring me the morning after isn't enough
& i swear i'm gonna cry, i'm sick of trying to be tough

& my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
& your heart is gonna tear mine away

& i wish to feel smaller under your hands
though you seem satisfied as you slip mine down your pants
& i'm thinking bout how you care half as much for me
as you lift up my shirt after asking politely

& i guess it doesn't matter what i am or pretend to be
cause it's her you'll always love
& it's her i'll always envy
wanna end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up
& i swear i'm gonna cry, i'm sick of trying to be tough

& my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
& your heart is gonna tear mine away

& it's hard to find what i want
when it's buried beneath the biggest rock
i could pay lots of money to help lift it with machines
but i'm not sure you'd cooperate, not sure you'd come clean

& i wish to feel smaller under your sheets
i wish for the whole truth every time you speak
& i'm thinking bout how you care half as much for me
as i watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep

& i guess it doesn't matter what i say or what i seem
you stuck what i felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
& i swear i'm gonna cry, i'm sick of trying to be tough
yeah i swear i'm gonna cry, i'm sick of trying to be tough

& my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
& your heart is gonna tear mine away
is gonna tear mine away

gregory & the hawk
(youtub)

loot.

2009-05-13T16:22:00.001+08:00

exciting!

currently wearing.

2009-05-13T10:07:00.001+08:00

latest op shop purchase.
i adore it.

surprises in the mail!

2009-05-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

iloveyoucards.org

crafting.

2009-05-11T19:56:00.002+08:00

when i can take pictures like this i will be happy.

2009-05-07T11:07:00.000+08:00

you are perfecting circular breathing

2009-05-06T09:20:00.002+08:00

you loomed up slowly on the horizon
blocking the sun like an ocean liner
when i discover i'm living in your shadow
it always comes as a surprise

but way up here
i'm spinning around a lamppost in the rain
way up here, i remember rain
& i'm whispering directly into your ear

you are perfecting circular breathing
i can't always tell when you're inhaling
so you make it look like you're always giving
but you're always storing little bits away
you're a bit away

but way up here
i'm dancing around a lamppost in the rain
way up here
it's pouring down
& i'm saying right into your ear

what does it take?
to stop getting carried away by the force of my love
you take my breath away
i'm starting to suffocate
break the outline of my body
break where i end & you begin
break, you came too far in
& out & in, & doubt & din again

every time we breathe out
we let out a little bit of ourselves
it'd be alright if we could exchange
but you don't want to
& i don't blame you
but i'm gonna wanna learn to play the didgeridoo too

because way up here
i'm dancing around that lamppost in the rain
way up here
rain on down
& I'm screaming, I'm shouting into your ear
& out & in, & doubt & din.

j'adore.

2009-05-05T07:30:00.000+08:00

effing amazing or what?

one of my favourite songs of theirs, along with neighborhood #1 (tunnels) & keep the car running.

see the full video here.

kewpie.

2009-05-04T10:00:00.000+08:00

flickr.

& it's okay if you have to go away.

2009-05-03T17:13:00.001+08:00

i love pretty much every mraz song EVER, but this has been close to my number-one favourite for many many years.

my favourite version is off the tonight, not again live album, which was the first of his that i ever heard.
the man writes some of the most incredible lyrics, & even though he's a bit of a crazy hippie now, i still adore him.
the thing i love most is just how prolific a songwriter he is- he has at least 50 unreleased songs that have only ever been played live.
i find that amazing.

was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
oh things are gonna happen naturally
oh taking your advice i'm looking on the bright side
& balancing the whole damn thing
but often times those words get tangled up in lines
& the bright lights turn to night
until the dawn it brings
another day to sing about the magic that was you & me

cause you & i both loved
what you & i spoke of
& others just read of
others only read of the love, the love that i love.

see i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
more words than i had ever heard & i feel so alive

you & i, you & i
not so little you & i anymore
& with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

cause you & i both loved
what you & i spoke of
& others just dream of
& if you could see me now
well i'm almost finally out of
i'm finally out of
finally deedeedeedee
well i'm almost finally, finally
well i'm free, oh, i'm free

& it's okay if you have go away
oh just remember the telephone works both ways
& if i never ever hear them ring
if nothing else i'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else & that's okay
cause i'll remember everything you sang

cause you & I both loved what you & i spoke of
& others just read of & if you could see now
well i'm almost finally out of
i'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well i'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.

la vita é bella

2009-04-21T22:11:00.003+08:00

one of my favourite favourite movies ever.
i still remember seeing begnini win his oscar, leaping all over the chairs.
this movie is so beautiful & so heartbreaking at the same time.
i always cry at the end.
(& sometimes throughout)
if you haven't seen it, get your hands on a copy NOW you heathen.
more info here.

most gorgeous scene in a movie ever.
(i may or may not have teared up just watching it to post.)

buongiorno principessa!
stanotte t'ho sognato tutta la notte, andavamo al cinema, e avevi quel tailleur rosa che ti piace tanto, non penso che a te, principessa, penso sempre a te!

this is true love.

cosa sei disposto a perdere

2009-04-19T13:00:00.001+08:00

la vertigine non é paura di cadere ma voglia di volare

my favourite favourite quote at the moment.

it's from the song mi fido di te by italian rapper/singer jovanotti.
(download here.)

translated, it means "vertigo is not fear of falling but the desire to fly"

but it sounds way better in italian.

for all you taylor swift haters out there.

2009-04-18T19:02:00.003+08:00

I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss,
It's flawless,
Really something,
It's fearless.

i'm not a huge fan of her personally, but boy do i love her music.
the above quote is just one reason why.

romeo & juliet

2009-04-17T10:00:00.004+08:00

a lovestruck romeo sings the streets a serenade
laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
says something like "you & me babe, how about it?"

juliet says "hey it's romeo. you nearly give me a heart attack"
he's underneath the window, she's singing "hey la, my boyfriend's back"
"you shouldn't come around here, singing up at people like that...
anyway, what you gonna do about it?"

juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
& i bet, & you exploded into my heart
& i forget i forget the movie song
when you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong?
juliet

come up on different streets, both were streets of shame
both dirty, both mean, yes & the dream was just the same
& i dreamed your dream for you & now your dream is real
how can you look at me as if i was just another one of your deals?

& you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
you can fall for pretty strangers & the promises they hold
you promised me everything, you promised me thick & thin yeah
now you just say "oh romeo, yeah, you know i used to have a scene with him"

juliet, when we made love you used to cry
you said "i love you like the stars above, i'll love you til i die"
& there's a place for us, you know the movie song
when you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong?
juliet

i can't do the talk like they talk on tv
& i can't do a lovesong like the way it's meant to be
i can't everything, but i'll do anything for you
can't do anything except be in love with you

all i do is miss you & the way we used to be
& all i do is keep the beat & bad company
& all i do is kiss through the bars of a rhyme
juliet i'd do the stars with you anytime you like

juliet, when we made love you used to cry
you said "i love you like the stars above, i'll love you til i die"
& there's a place for us, you know the movie song
when you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong?
juliet

& a lovestruck romeo sings the streets a serenade
laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
says something like "you & me babe, how bout it?"

dire straits

not sure if this is the original filmclip or not but it's pretty hilarious.
download here.

as covered by the killers.
download here.

& edwin mccain.
download here.

for my emmacakes.

2009-04-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

love you prettyhead.
♥

things i like: cute girls with noserings.

2009-04-16T14:13:00.008+08:00

oldie but a goodie.

2009-04-14T16:16:00.000+08:00

i hate the way you talk to me & the way your cut your hair.
i hate the way you drive my car, i hate it when you stare.
i hate your big dumb combat boots & the way you read my mind.
i hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
i hate the way you're always right, i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh; even worse when you make me cry.
i hate it when you're not around & the fact that you didn't call.
but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you-
not even close.
not even a little bit.
not even at all.

i really need to watch this movie again.
♥
oh heath.

currently on my mind.

2009-04-13T23:08:00.001+08:00

that's all i got for tonight folks, sorry.

splittings.

2009-04-12T21:37:00.001+08:00

1.
My body opens over San Francisco like the day-
light raining down each pore crying the change of light
I am not with her I have been waking off and on
all night to that pain not simply absence but
the presence of the past destructive
to living here and now Yet if I could instruct
myself, if we could learn to learn from pain
even as it grasps us if the mind, the mind that lives
in this body could refuse to let itself be crushed
in that grasp it would loosen Pain would have to stand
off from me and listen its dark breath still on me
but the mind could begin to speak to pain
and pain would have to answer:

We are older now
we have met before these are my hands before your eyes
my figure blotting out all that is not mine
I am the pain of division creator of divisions
it is I who blot your lover from you
and not the time-zones nor the miles
It is not separation calls me forth but I
who am separation And remember
I have no existence apart from you

2.
I believe I am choosing something new
not to suffer uselessly yet still to feel
Does the infant memorize the body of the mother
and create her in absence? or simply cry
primordial loneliness? does the bed of the stream
once diverted mourning remember wetness?
But we, we live so much in these
configurations of the past I choose
to separate her from my past we have not shared
I choose not to suffer uselessly
to detect primordial pain as it stalks toward me
flashing its bleak torch in my eyes blotting out
her particular being the details of her love
I will not be divided from her or from myself
by myths of separation
while her mind and body in Manhattan are more with me
than the smell of eucalyptus coolly burning on these hills

3.
The world tells me I am its creature
I am raked by eyes brushed by hands
I want to crawl into her for refuge lay my head
in the space between her breast and shoulder
abnegating power for love
as women have done or hiding
from power in her love like a man
I refuse these givens the splitting
between love and action I am choosing
not to suffer uselessly and not to use her
I choose to love this time for once
with all my intelligence

another adrienne rich. i do adore her work. this one in particular.

adrienne rich.

2009-04-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

Adrienne Rich (born May 16, 1929 - one day after me!) is an American poet, essayist & feminist.

"The pamphlet Twenty-One Love Poems (1977), which was incorporated into the following year's Dream of a Common Language (1978), marked the first direct treatment of lesbian desire and sexuality in her work."

this is one of my favourite poems. it is incredibly long, so i'm just going to post the passages that i like best.

II
I wake up in your bed. I know I have been dreaming.
Much earlier, the alarm broke us from each other,
You've been at your desk for hours. I know what I dreamed:
our friend the poet comes into my room
where I've been writing for days,
drafts, carbons, poems are scattered everywhere,
and I want to show her one poem
which is the poem of my life. But I hesitate,
and wake. You've kissed my hair
to wake me. I dreamed you were a poem,
I say, a poem I wanted to show someone...
and I laugh and fall dreaming again
of the desire to show you to everyone I love,
to move openly together
in the pull of gravity, which is not simple,
which carries the feathered grass a long way down the upbreathing air.

II
Since we're not young, weeks have to do time
for years of missing each other. Yet only this odd warp
in time tells me we're not young.
Did I ever walk the morning streets at twenty,
my limbs streaming with purer joy?
did I lean from my window over the city
listening for the future
as I listen with nerves tuned for your ring?
And you, you move towards me with the same tempo.
Your eyes are everlasting, the green spark
of the blue-eyed grass of early summer
the green-blue wild cress washed by the spring.
At twenty, yes: we thought we'd live forever.
At forty-five, I want to know even our limits.
I touch you knowing we weren't born tomorrow,
and somehow, each of us will help the other live,
and somehow, each of us must help the other die.

IV
I come home from you through the early light of Spring
flashing off ordinary walls, the Pez Dorado,
the Discount Wares, the shoe-store...I'm lugging my sack
of groceries, I dash for the elevator
where a man, taut, elderly, carefully composed
lets the door almost close on me. - For God sake hold it!
I croak at him - Hysterical, - he breathes my way.
I let myself into the kitchen, unload my bundles,
make coffee, open the window, put on Nina Simone
singing Here Comes the Sun...I open the mail,
drinking delicious coffee, delicious music,
my body still both light and heavy with you. The mail,
lets fall a Xerox of something written by a man
aged 27, a hostage, tortured in prison:
My genitals have been the object of such a sadistic display
they keep me constantly awake with the pain...
Do whatever you can to survive.
You know, I think men love wars...
And my incurable anger, my unmendable wounds
break open further with tears, I am crying helplessly,
and they still control the world, and you are not in my arms.

VI
Your small hands, precisely equal to my own -
only the thumb is larger, longer - in these hands
I could trust the world, or in many hands like these,
handling power-tools or steering-wheel
or touching a human face...such hands could turn
the unborn child rightways in the birth canal
or pilot the exploratory rescue-ship
through icebergs, or piece together
the fine, needle-like shreds of a great krater-cup
bearing on its sides
fingers of ecstatic women striding
to the sibyl's den or the Eleusinian cave -
such hands might carry out an unavoidable violence
with such restraint, with such a grasp
of the range and limits of violence
that violence ever after would be obsolete.

XII
Sleeping, turning in turn like planets
rotating in their midnight meadow:
a touch is enough to let us know
we're not alone in the universe, even in sleep:
the dream - ghosts of two worlds
walking their ghost-towns, almost address each other.
I've walked to your muttered words
spoken light - or dark - years away,
as if my own voice had spoken.
But we have different voices, even in sleep,
and our bodies, so alike, are yet so different
and the past echoing through our bloodstreams
is freighted with different language, different meanings -
through in any chronicle of the world we share
it could be written with new meaning
we were two lovers of one gender,
we were two women of one generation.

XIII
The rules break like a thermometer,
quicksilver spills across the charted systems,
we're out in a country that has no language
no laws, we're chasing the raven and the wren
through gorges unexplored since dawn
whatever we do together is pure invention
the maps they gave us were out of date
by years we're driving through the desert
wondering if the water will hold out
the hallucinations turn to simple villages
the music on the radio comes clear -
neither Rosenkavalier nor Gotterdammerung
but a woman's voice singing old songs
with new words, with a quiet bass, a flute
plucked and fingered by women outside the law.

[The Floating Poem, Unnumbered]
Whatever happens with us, your body
will haunt mine - tender, delicate
your lovemaking, like the half-curled frond
of the fiddlehead fern in forests
just washed by sun. Your traveled, generous thighs
between which my whole face has come and come -
the innocence and wisdom of the placee my tongue has found there -
the live, insatiate dance of your nipples in my mouth -
your touch on me, firm, protective, searching
me out, your strong tongue and slender fingers
reaching where I had been waiting years for you
in my rose-wet cave - whatever happens, this is.

& the very last line:
a woman. I choose to walk here. And to draw this circle.

(complete 21 poems here.)

a lot of my favourite passages are the ones that speak directly about being a lesbian, but not in an obvious way. it may be because i wrote as essay on the sublety of her language in relation to her sexuality, but i find the way she writes about it just breathtaking.

some of my favourite lines:

and I laugh and fall dreaming again
of the desire to show you to everyone I love,
to move openly together
in the pull of gravity, which is not simple,

I am crying helplessly,
and they still control the world, and you are not in my arms.

The rules break like a thermometer,
quicksilver spills across the charted systems,
we're out in a country that has no language
no laws,

whatever we do together is pure invention
the maps they gave us were out of date
by years we're driving through the desert
wondering if the water will hold out

these particular excerpts above speak to me in a way i can't even put into words properly. the language is just so beautiful & the sentiments SO true, i can't even.

i find her incredibly inspirational. check out her wiki entry, it's fascinating.

had to share.

2009-04-11T00:12:00.002+08:00

no,

reminded me of me & my best friend :)

(from this delightful little tumblr i discovered via weheartit)

girl's got pipes.

2009-04-08T08:20:00.001+08:00

duffy, shot by... yup, ellen von unwerth.

every song on her album is amazing, i love it to death.
favourites include rockferry, syrup & honey, delayed devotion.

girl-crush: leisha hailey

2009-04-07T09:33:00.001+08:00

i could go on about leisha hailey forever.
she is amazing.
gorgeous, LESBIAN (woo!) & out, musician, actor, & just all-round completely talented & hilarious.
expect another post (or two..) on her sometime soon.

for now, check out her current band (she's had a few), uh huh her, on youtube & myspace.
they're incredible.
a couple (okay, 3) of my favourites: explode & not a love song & mystery lights.

i heart my new header.

2009-04-06T18:01:00.001+08:00

(click to enlarge! ps highly worth it.)

sarah jessica parker = awesomesauce.

the end.

ALSO! the gorgeous R. @ the creamy middles gave me this pretty little award far too long ago & i haven't got around to passing it on :S

so thank you R.! & i'd like to pass it on to dane from trust me, it's paradise.
girl is hot & super-talented & just all-round awesome.

post script to my last post

2009-04-05T21:53:00.001+08:00

just found these & YUM.
totally loving demi & selena at the moment, they are adorable.
i refuse to apologise for my disney-obsession.
judge away, i don't care.

ps. proper post tomorrow, i swear!

things i like: cute girls in glasses.

2009-04-03T07:01:00.001+08:00

penelope cruz

sara quin
(of tegan & sara)
(i may have died a little on the inside)

leighton meester
so effing adorable.

mandy moore

the l word ladies:

marlee matlin & jennifer beals.
classic.

mia kirshner, jenny.

leisha hailey, alice.
ADORE her.

+ some flickr favs

you know me, i love to lose my mind.

2009-04-02T18:07:00.000+08:00

look down - the ground below is crumbling

look up - the stars are all exploding

it's the last day on earth
in my dreams
it's the end of the world
and you've come back to me
in my dreams

between the dust and debris
there's a light surrounding you and me

it's the last day on earth
in my dreams
it's the end of the world
and you've come back to me
in my dreams

and you hold me closer than i can ever remember being held
i'm not afraid to sleep now, if we can stay like this until

it's the last day on earth
in my dreams
it's the end of the world
and you've come back to me
in my dreams

in my head i repeat our conversations
over and over til they feel like hallucinations
you know me - i love to lose my mind
and every time anybody speaks your name i still feel the same
i ache, i ache, i ache inside

for my bambola.

kate miller-heidke
download here.
please do, it's absolutely gorgeous.

my favourite line:
in my head, i repeat our conversations
over & over til they feel like hallucinations

i'm kind of awesome.

2009-03-30T22:36:00.001+08:00

LOVE.

2009-03-30T14:27:00.007+08:00

♥

some things i've picked up in my travels

2009-03-29T18:12:00.000+08:00

emma watson, by ellen von unwerth

2009-03-27T09:19:00.001+09:00

(all click to enlarge)

not my favourite shoot from either of them, but it is gorgeous.

i actually really like emma watson. she's so pretty & i love her accent.
& she dresses well ;)

perfection. (aka santa please bring me?)

2009-03-22T22:40:00.005+09:00

i've got a whole bunch of posts on gorgeous, talented ladies planned for sometime in the near future, it's just finding the time to re-size & upload the photos...
until then, expect a couple more short posts like this one.

girl crush - kat dennings

2009-03-19T22:35:00.005+09:00

i just read nick & norah's infinite playlist (which i highly recommend!) & cannot wait to see the movie (also starring michael cera).

kat dennings is the most perfect norah i could ever imagine.

you may know her as the bratty bar mitzvah girl from sex & the city, or the daughter in the 40 year old virgin.

gorgeous, talented, intelligent & funny, i can't wait to see more of her work.

cute interview with her here.

all i'm sayin' pretty baby...

2009-03-18T17:06:00.001+09:00

(from SparklePower @ etsy.)

i know this poster has been floating all around the blogosphere, but i finally heard the song yesterday.
it is super catchy & awesome & i had it on repeat all last night.
download it here.
<333>

my new favourite photo.

2009-03-16T18:25:00.002+09:00

(thanks to dorothy surrenders)

i have had the first stanza of this poem memorised since i was 13

2009-03-16T10:01:00.003+09:00

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

Emily Dickinson.

eye candy of the week: mandy moore (wild hope)

2009-03-14T08:25:00.000+09:00

this photoshoot is insanely gorgeous, i want to live in it.

the album is amazing too.

eye candy of the week: mandy moore (sexy mandy)

2009-03-13T10:00:00.000+09:00

(click to enlarge)

eye candy of the week: mandy moore (pose-y mandy)

2009-03-12T08:30:00.000+09:00

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

eye candy of the week: mandy moore (candid mandy)

2009-03-11T17:10:00.001+09:00

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)

(EPIC coat. ignore the douche)

(again, ignore the douche.)

(SUCH a me-face, omg)

how can she make even ugg boots look cute??

um, i couldn't whittle it down to a small enough number of photos for one post, so expect a few more to come. i adore mandy moore. she is gorgeous, elegant, stylish, talented, down-to-earth, completely sincere & adorable, & just an all-round lovely girl. i kind of want her for my best friend ;)

cummings

2009-03-11T15:20:00.000+09:00

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

some old favourites/my all-time loves

2009-03-04T08:00:00.000+09:00

(i think i will want these my whole life)

maggie and milly and molly and may

2009-03-03T10:08:00.002+09:00

      maggie and milly and molly and may
      went down to the beach (to play one day)

      and maggie discovered a shell that sang
      so sweetly she couldn’t remember her troubles,and

      milly befriended a stranded star
      whose rays five languid fingers were;

      and molly was chased by a horrible thing
      which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

      may came home with a smooth round stone
      as small as a world and as large as alone.

      For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
      it’s always ourselves we find in the sea

this poem always makes me think of milly-molly-mandy. i loved those books when i was a kid, partly because it excited me that one of her names was my name! haha. if you've never read them, they're very cute & nostalgic, even if you're not five to eight (ie the target age :) though i do say this as an enid blyton-lover, so if you're not into her i doubt you'd like this either.

i love old kid's literature: enid blyton, bobbsey twins, original nancy drew, trixie beldon, louise may alcott, & so on. i have a largish collection & am always looking for more. they just don't write kid's books the way they used to. but i will admit to hating anne of green gables.. she always just annoyed me no end, but i could never quite put my finger on why exactly.

a little bit of randomness

2009-03-02T22:49:00.003+09:00

loving the jewellery here. i actually had my hair cut like this last year too.

hands down my favourite photo of the two of them, fashion-wise.

my all-time, favourite photo of ashley ever. & i've seen a lot.

i apologise for the lack of posts, uni is taking over my life at the moment, but hopefully once i've settled in a bit i'll have more time to blog :)

true love

2009-02-27T15:44:00.001+09:00

sara quin.

(i love tegan too! sara is just my soulmate :)

funeral blues

2009-02-24T13:00:00.001+09:00

        Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
        Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
        Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
        Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

        Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
        Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'.
        Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
        Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

        He was my North, my South, my East and West,
        My working week and my Sunday rest,
        My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
        I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

        The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
        Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
        Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
        For nothing now can ever come to any good.

i adore this poem. first came across it in yep, you guessed it, lit class in high school.

i find it fascinating to wikipedia/google poets, although sometimes they lose some of their mysterious cool when it do that.

gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle

2009-02-23T19:32:00.001+09:00

these were shot around the time keri russell made the movie waitress. co-starring nathan fillion, it's a gorgeous indie movie about a pie-cook/waitress, but don't go in expecting a romantic, happy ending like i did. haha

fantastic movie, i highly recommend. super sad story behind it though. adrienne shelley, who wrote, directed & acted (in) it, was murdered before the movie was released.

it went on to become a surprise hit & her killer was sentenced to 25 years in prison.

more here.

pablo neruda. even his name is poetry.

2009-02-20T18:07:00.017+09:00

            Love, we're going home now,
            Where the vines clamber over the trellis:
            Even before you, the summer will arrive,
            On its honeysuckle feet, in your bedroom.

            Our nomadic kisses wandered over all the world:
            Armenia, dollop of disinterred honey:
            Ceylon, green dove: and the YangTse with its old
            Old patience, dividing the day from the night.

            And now, dearest, we return, across the crackling sea
            Like two blind birds to their wall,
            To their nest in a distant spring:

            Because love cannot always fly without resting,
            Our lives return to the wall, to the rocks of the sea:
            Our kisses head back home where they belong.

i can't fall in love with every single idiot i see

2009-02-19T19:10:00.003+09:00

afraid of the neighbours out in the hall

i'm worried they'll hear us come through the wall

down in the car park, out in the street
out in the real world people are mean

i live in a shoebox, i live in a cell
and hearing my small talk
it's easy to tell that i don't belong here

just cause it works for you doesn't mean it works for me
i can't fall in love with every single idiot i see

i saw you with harry out on the town
did you ignore me, or the other way round?
yell over the music
can't find a seat
pushing past me
step on my feet

and this is a shoebox
this is a cell
feels like my skin belongs to somebody else
but I smile and suck it in

just cause it works for you doesn't mean it works for me
i can't fall in love with every single idiot i see

when i see i've had enough
and the seas are getting rough
i just need time
til everything is back to normal
and everything is as it should be
if everything is less than you hoped for
everything's okay by me

kate miller-heidke, shoebox

effing love this song.

love

2009-02-19T09:25:00.003+09:00

feminism is not a dirty word

2009-02-18T15:30:00.000+09:00

BECAUSE WE'RE WOMEN
Joyce Stevens

Because women's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get the sack and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get bashed we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women it's because we can't get a "real" man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect community care for children we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and "unfeminine" and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can't cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and ...... for lots and lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement.

Rape
Adrienne Rich

There is a cop who is both prowler and father:
he comes from your block, grew up with your brothers,
had certain ideals.
You hardly know him in his boots and silver badge,
on horseback, one hand touching his gun.

You hardly know him but you have to get to know him:
he has access to machinery that could kill you.
He and his stallion clop like warlords among the trash,
his ideals stand in the air, a frozen cloud
from between his unsmiling lips.

And so, when the time comes, you have to turn to him,
the maniac's sperm still greasing your thighs,
your mind whirling like crazy. You have to confess
to him, you are guilty of the crime
of having been forced.

And you see his blue eyes, the blue eyes of all the family
whom you used to know, grow narrow and glisten,
his hand types out the details
and he wants them all
but the hysteria in your voice pleases him best.

You hardly know him but now he thinks he knows you:
he has taken down you worst moment
on a machine and filed it in a file.
He knows, or thinks he knows, how much you imagined;
he knows, or thinks he knows, what you secretly wanted.

He has access to machinery that could get you put away;
and if, in the sickening light of the precinct,
and if, in the sickening light of the precinct,
your details sound like a portrait of your confessor,
will you swallow, will you deny them, will you lie your way home?

He Was More
Lisa Demsky

He was more credible.

As i was passed out
unable to speak
He was more able.
As i tried to struggle
but couldn't move
He was more stable.
And i tried to understand
and i tried to feel
and i wanted to hate
but i
But he
He was more.

But i felt him
and heard him
and heard her say no
and she tried to scream
but was silent.

And i wanted to cry
to feel
to scream
but she was confused
and she

The drama was heard
The lights blinked twice
The poor players performed
like real life.
He was silent.
He was respectable.
He was more.
And the players all talked
and the fools all believe
they were more credible.
And with all of their sound
she almost believed them
herself.

She wanted to cry
but stopped herself.
She blinked once
and then her eyes dried
and i tried
and she tried to explain
And she explained to the judge, but
He was more credible.

When the stage was cleared
the audience roared,
the lights blinked once
and then died.
They were

more, as i held my head up
and searched for my pride
i was
and i tried to explain
and i wanted to scream
and i tried to hate

And alone in my room
i finally cried.
He was upset
His life was disturbed
His life was more
He was
more, she was
i was
I
was raped.

Circles in the Water
Marge Piercy

There is no difference between being raped
and being pushed down a flight of cement steps
except that the wounds also bleed inside.

There is no difference between being raped
and being run over by a truck
except that afterward men ask if you enjoyed it.

There is no difference between being raped
and being bit on the ankle by a rattlesnake
except that people ask if your skirt was short
and why you were out alone anyhow.

There is no difference between being raped
and going head first through a windshield
except that afterward you are afraid
not of cars
but half the human race.

The rapist is your boyfriend's brother.
He sits beside you in the movies eating popcorn.
Rape fattens on the fantasies of the normal male
like a maggot in garbage.

Fear of rape is a cold wind blowing
all of the time on a woman's hunched back.
Never to stroll alone on a sand road through pine woods,
never to climb a trail across a bald
without that aluminum in the mouth
when I see a man climbing toward me.

Never to open the door to a knock
without that razor just grazing the throat.
The fear of the dark side of hedges,
the back seat of the car, the empty house
rattling keys like a snake's warning.
The fear of the smiling man
in whose pocket is a knife.
The fear of the serious man
in whose fist is locked hatred.

All it takes to cast a rapist is seeing your body
as jackhammer, as blowtorch, as adding-machine-gun.
All it takes is hating that body
your own, your self, your muscle that softens to flab.

All it takes is to push what you hate,
what you fear onto the soft alien flesh.
To bucket out invincible as a tank
armored with treads without senses
to possess and punish in one act,
to rip up pleasure, to murder those who dare
live in the leafy flesh open to love.

After The 'Ball'
Lilian Tait

After the fingernails
are cleaned
and the debris examined
microscopically
After the pubic hair
is sponged and tweezed
vagina scraped for
contents
to be specified
After the bruise
of a throat is measured
and photographs
of other welts
are checked
for abnormalities
in the bite
After the p.m.,
After the forms are filed
and the mortician
restores with art
spaced underneath
minus teeth
to create
a little smile
After the final
farewell celebration
After dark
After light
After all
It might have been me
After the ball...

robbery ...... or rape?

"Mr Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the main street?"
"Yes."
"Did you struggle with the robber?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"He was armed."
"Then you made a conscious decision to comply with his demands rather than resist?"
"Yes."
"Did you scream? Cry out?"
"No."
"I see. Have you ever been held up before?"
"No."
"Have you ever given money away?"
"Yes, of course."
"And you did so willingly?"
"What are you getting at?"
"Well, lets put it like this, Mr Smith. You've given away money in the past. In fact you've got quite a reputation for philanthropy. How can we be sure you weren't contriving to have your money taken by force?"
"Listen, if I wanted..."
"Never mind. What time did this hold up take place?"
"About 11p.m."
"You were out on the street at 11p.m.? Doing what?"
"Just walking."
"Just walking? You know it's dangerous being out on the street late at night. Weren't you aware that you could have been held up?"
"I hadn't thought about it."
"What were you wearing?"
"Let's see - a suit."
"An expensive suit?"
"Well yes, I'm a successful lawyer, you know."
"In other words, Mr Smith, you were walking around the streets late at night in a suit that practically advertised the fact that you might be a good target for some easy money, isn't that so? I mean, if we didn't know better, Mr Smith, we might even think that you were asking for this to happen, mightn't we?"

any parallels?

normally i wouldn't post so many poems all at once, but i think it's important to see these all together.

i first came across these in high school, in either year 11 or 12 lit class. my teacher was amazing.

whenever the subject of feminism comes up, one of my friends always says how she's not a feminist, she doesn't like feminism & she would rather not work & stay at home, etc etc. which is all well & good, but feminism is about having the CHOICE to do that, or to work, or to have an abortion, or to have your boobs hanging out if you want to, etc etc.

i could talk about this forever, but i think i'll stop now. what are YOUR thoughts?

in a good year, you kind of look as if you'd be fearless.

2009-02-18T07:31:00.004+09:00

(click to enlarge)

leonard cohen concert @ sandalford winery, 07/02/09

the lovely jacinta tagged me with this adorable little award

1) i don't have a middle name.

2) i only drink out of mugs, never teacups.
2b) whenever i get a coffee at a coffeeshop i always get it in a take-away cup, whether i am "dining in" or not. tastes much better :)

3) instead of dealing with my problems, i ignore them & hope they'll go away... & eventually everything blows up in my face.

4) i'm finally changing things about myself & my life that make me unhappy.

5) i've only known my best friends for 2 months but i know we're going to be friends forever.
5b) & these 2 months have been some of the best times of my life.

6) the thought of getting pregnant grosses me out SO MUCH. i can't even describe it (or it would take up about 3 pages...).

7) i can never have enough sleep. i sleep for 12 hours & 3 hours later i'm ready for bed again.
7b) nothing is better than sleep. not even sex. truly.

8) i have a thing for hipbones.
8b) so of course i LOVE this photo from gala's 365.

(click to enlarge)

9) i have a crush for the first time in forever & it's lovely.

10) this was nowhere near as hard as i expected it to be.

tagging
a beautiful dream
ali-bell
another girl, another blog
click your heels
gin in a teacup
girl with the big brown eyes
the holly and the ivy
kittentails
lavender and yolk
lick my cupcakes
messy maisies

(i would've tagged the creamy middles, but R's been tagged about 3 times already)

tag-ees, do the same & pass it on ♥

addicted to animal things

2009-02-17T17:17:00.000+09:00

i've had this photo saved on my hard drive for around 6-8 months, & clearly those were what i had in mind when i bought these.. completely unconsciously.

&&&

could this be any more awesome? i'm in love.

the animal song ;) couldn't resist

my other obsession: handbags

2009-02-17T10:00:00.005+09:00

i have far too many.

most are thrifted or gifted though, so it's not so bad.

these cost me $5, $2 & $2 respectively.
(though not all at once!)

& the only time i've touched you is in my sleep

2009-02-16T18:46:00.002+09:00

so we've put an end to it this time.
i'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine.
you said this hill looks far too steep
if i'm not even sure it's me you wanna keep.
and it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time i've touched you is in my sleep.

but time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
i've tried cutting the ropes and
i let you go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

you won't talk me into it next time,
if i'm going away your heart's coming too.
cos i miss your hands i miss your face
when i get back let's disappear without a trace

cos it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time i've touched you is in my sleep.

cut time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
i've tried cutting the ropes,
tried letting go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

so tell me, did you really think...
oh tell me, did you really think i had gone
when you couldn't see me anymore?
when you couldn't...

cos baby time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
and i've tried cutting the ropes,
i let you go but you're still the only one
that feels like home, yeah,
you're still the only one that feels like home,
you're still the only one i've gotta love.

missy higgins, ten days

been listening to a lot of missy lately, & found out the other day that she's playing at a festival soon that i'm going to. excitement!

happy belated valentine's day to you all!

2009-02-16T11:20:00.001+09:00

apologies for my absence over the last few days, i was too busy having a good time :)

&&&

number one girlfriend:

sara quinn

i'm loving

2009-02-15T21:48:00.001+09:00

this photo is perfection.

spent the evening going through lena's blog.

getting so much inspiration, & between this & gossip girl i'm starting to crave winter + tights + boots... nooo! as soon as winter hits i start craving summer again :S

favourite poems, #2

2009-02-11T11:21:00.002+09:00

Without you every morning would feel like going back to work after a holiday,
Without you I couldn't stand the smell of the East Lancs Road,
Without you ghost ferries would cross the Mersey manned by skeleton crews,
Without you I'd probably feel happy and have more money and time and nothing to do with it,
Without you I'd have to leave my stillborn poems on other people's doorsteps, wrapped in brown paper,
Without you there'd never be sauce to put on sausage butties,
Without you plastic flowers in shop windows would just be plastic flowers in shop windows,
Without you I'd spend my summers picking morosely over the remains of train crashes,
Without you white birds would wrench themselves free from my paintings and fly off dripping blood into the night,
Without you green apples wouldn't taste greener,
Without you Mothers wouldn't let their children play out after tea,
Without you every musician in the world would forget how to play the blues,
Without you Public Houses would be public again,
Without you the Sunday Times colour suppliment would come out in black-and-white,
Without you indifferent colonels would shrug their shoulders and press the button,
Without you they's stop changing the flowers in Piccadilly Gardens,
Without you Clark Kent would forget how to become Superman,
Without you Sunshine Breakfast would only consist of Cornflakes,
Without you there'd be no colour in Magic colouring books,
Without you Mahler's 8th would only be performed by street musicians in derelict houses,
Without you they'd forget to put the salt in every packet of crisps,
Without you it would be an offence punishable by a fine of up to £200 or two months' imprisonment to be found in possession of curry powder,
Without you riot police are massing in quiet sidestreets,
Without you all streets would be one-way the other way,
Without you there'd be no one to kiss goodnight when we quarrel,
Without you the first martian to land would turn round and go away again,
Without you they'd forget to change the weather,
Without you blind men would sell unlucky heather,
Without you there would be
no landscapes/no stations/no houses
no chipshops/no quiet villages/no seagulls
on beaches/no hopscotch on pavements/no night/no morning/
there'd be no city no country
Without you.

Adrian Henri

my favourite part is:
Without you there would be
no landscapes/no stations/no houses
no chipshops/no quiet villages/no seagulls
on beaches/no hopscotch on pavements/no night/no morning/
there'd be no city no country
Without you.
i think it works well even on its own.

eye candy of the week: ellen page

2009-02-10T14:56:00.007+09:00

guest appearances by michael cera, catherine keener (LOVE her) & olivia thirlby (<333)>

soon to be mine

2009-02-10T10:01:00.003+09:00

do i need blue shoes? no.
but do i want them? oh yes.
decisions decisions.

& these are the perfect oxfords. it's love.

readers, you may be thinking i have a problem, given the amount of shoes that have already featured on this blog in 10 or so posts.

& you would be correct. i do.
but oh what a lovely addiction to have :)

winter-thinking

2009-02-09T19:21:00.002+09:00

(photo credit: the stylish wanderer)

i thrifted a pair of boots like these last week, except brown.

can't wait to wear them.

current obsession

2009-02-09T14:30:00.005+09:00

there was a guy at my school when i was in high school
we'd ride side by side in the morning on our bicycles
never even spoken or faced each other
but on the last hill we'd race each other

when we reached the racks we'd each go our own way
i wasn't in his classes, i didn't know his name
when we finally got to speak he just stared at his feet
and mumbled a sentence that ended with 'james'

i was young and caught in the crowd
i didn't know then what i know now
i was dumb, and i was proud
and i'm sorry
if i could go back, do it again
i'd be someone you could call friend
please please believe that i'm sorry

well he was quite a big guy, kinda shy and quiet
when the kids called him weird he didn't try to deny it
every lunchtime he'd spend walking by himself
round the boundary of the grounds til he heard the bell

well one day i found him, joined him on his walk
we were silent for a while until we started to talk
i told him my family were fighting in court
he said his step-dad and him always fought

we talked about music; he was into punk
told me all the bands that i liked were junk
i said i'd never heard the songs the sex pistols sang
i laughed back at him and then the bell rang

i was young and caught in the crowd
i didn't know then what i know now
i was dumb, and i was proud
and i'm sorry
if i could go back, do it again
i'd be someone you could call friend
please please believe that i'm sorry

it was after school in the afternoon
the corridors were crowded as we came out of the rooms
three guys i knew pushed him into the cement
threw away his bag and said he had no friends

he yelled that he did and he looked around
tried getting up but they pushed him on down
that's when he saw me, called out my name
and i turned my back, and just walked away

kate miller-heidke, caught in the crowd

going to see her in concert next month, yay :)

latest purchase

2009-02-09T10:12:00.001+09:00

it's love.